Friday, April 30, 2010

Thou shalt have no other Herzog before me; Or, Encounters at the End of the Meme

Werner Herzog will never have an existential anxiety attack. Existential anxiety isn't foolish enough to attack him.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Werner Herzog can actually roundhouse kick Klaus Kinski into yesterday, where he'd kick him again.

Werner Herzog can fling a 35mm film frame with such deadly accuracy that it can slice the head off a marble statue at 100 yards.

Werner Herzog made Nosferatu the Vampyre as a musical, but only he can hear the songs. If we could hear them, a single note of the angelic hosts would explode our brains.

The only DVD God owns: Aguirre, the Wrath of Herzog.

There was no bear in Grizzly Man. That's just how Werner Herzog holds auditions. 

(This, of course, is simply bouncing off this: "Chuck Norris is Dead. Werner Herzog Killed Him.")